Who's Your #1?

Who's your number 1, your boo?  I have to tell ya.  My husband is my favorite person on this earth.  He's my mister.  We have the best time together.  He gets me, I get him.  You get that.  We even have nightmares that would lead into our separation because we love and need each other so much.  Both of us have these dreams!  Isn't that awful?  I used to have dreams like that as a teenager, except for it was that I would be separated from God.  I would have these horrible dreams that I would die, and would leave my body, walk around, and no one would be able to see me, and God wouldn't even take me with Him to eternity.  I was this lost soul.

The enemy has a big part in this, but so did I.  In our bible study this morning, Beth Moore was saying that God is either trust-worthy or He isn't.  Um... The End.  That really is the bottom line, if you think about it, isn't it?  We either trust that God lets us go through bad things for our good, or we believe He isn't trust-worthy, because it can only be one or the other.  There's no in between.

You know, I've always felt that God has always had my best intentions and He has allowed this certain path for me, His path, not mine, for my own good.  But my trials seem so minimal to me when I think about what others are going through.  I even get mad at myself for subconsciously worrying about the uncontrollable.  Why do that?  It sounds to me like I may not think God is trust-worthy.

I don't wanna live my life afraid of what God might do to me if I surrender every single thing.  Everything!  I don't wanna keep thinking, "well God, is this all I can do?  What if I haven't put all my efforts where they're due?  What if I haven't crossed my t's and dotted my i's correctly?  What if I didn't work hard enough?"  Here's the thing:  God, thankfully, knows our heart.  He knows we may not measure up, and we fall, but he knows our intentions.  He knows our deepest intention on the things we say and how we say 'em, even if we are incredible masters of deceit.  I don't know about you, but some people can smell a fake from a mile away.  I don't have gifts of a mastermind or organization or baking or mathematics or anything like that.  But I do have a good eye when it comes to discernment.  I can't tell you what's wrong with people, or what they're thinking, but I can tell you when it's just not right.  But you know who can see through everything, way more than any eye could see?  God.  He sees more than a hidden camera.  He sees through the Christian slang people use to make them sound high and mighty.  He sees through to your intentions, to the heart.

I don't wanna tell God that I surrender all to Him and give Him my life, but not have the right intentions.  He should be first.  Your number one intentions should not be to support your family.  Your number one intentions should not be to be the best wife you can possibly be.  Your number one intention should be one thing only:  God.  Your relationship with Him, your relationship with your spouse, your relationship with your children, your relationship with your best friend and even those you don't get along with, should all be to glorify God and to know Him more and to make His name a place of rest and joy and truth.

I pray that you get past the mumbo jumbo of Christianity and to a life where God is first.  It sure is easy to say, but when you don't have the physical body of Jesus to walk around with, it becomes more of a challenge.  But God wants you to seek Him.  You won't regret it if you do.

-Tara K